


Doctoring

by cereal, gallifreyburning



Series: fic tennis [5]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Doctor Who AU, F/M, Pete's World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 20:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cereal/pseuds/cereal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallifreyburning/pseuds/gallifreyburning





	Doctoring

[gallifreyburning](http://gallifreyburning.tumblr.com/):

The Doctor enthusiastically digs into his plate of haggis, trying to ignore Rose’s laser-focused death glare. He thinks about the Fingerless Torgs of Omicrom 3, and how Rose bears them a striking resemblance, with her hands tucked into the sleeves of her puffy coat and her zipper done up to her cheeks. Of course, a Fingerless Torg would’ve managed to eat haggis with or without any handy digits. Rose’s plate sits untouched in front of her.

One glance at the bit of her face that’s visible, and the Doctor swallows _that_ story along with a big gulp of milk.

He can’t see her mouth, but he hears her muffled words regardless: “This is the worst surveillance job in Torchwood history. Only nutters would dine al fresco in the middle of the Edinburgh winter.”

The Doctor flashes a brilliant grin. “Rose Tyler, who _did_ you have the impression you were on assignment with?”

Her eyes roll, but the telltale lift in her cheeks betrays her hidden smile. “The Doctor, special alien consultant, nutter extraordinaire. We ought to have business cards made.”

“I’ll mention it to Ianto when we get back to London.” The Doctor scoops up a forkful of haggis and leans across the table. “Here now, eat _something_. I need to you to keep up with me later, once this surveillance pays off and we find that ‘imminent threat’ we’re supposed to be looking for.”

[allrightfine](http://allrightfine.tumblr.com/post/18998693325/fic-tennis-fourth-match):

Rose recoils from the food, reaching for the can of energy drink to the side of her plate.

“I’ll be fine, thanks,” and she lifts the can in a toast to him before taking a swig.

“Honestly, Rose, that stuff can’t be good for you,” he pulls his fork back and sets it on the plate. “For one, it’s the color of radioactive waste and two, I’m not certain they don’t intend to deliver on their promise to give you wings. A few more years and you could be mutating with the best of them! This whole thing could be a giant plot to gestate alien young.”

She considers the drink for a moment before setting it down to make light fluttering movements with her hands, mimicking her future wings, “Worth it.”

The Doctor rolls his eyes and Rose nudges his foot under the table.

“Besides, I’m not the one that’s going to have to brush three times tonight before anyone’s ‘keeping up with me,’ as you put it. Haggis _and_ milk?Should eat some garlic while you’re at it, just to really get things good.”

The Doctor beams, reaching into his jacket to produce a pack of cinnamon gum, followed by six more packs, in various flavors.

“Always prepared, me. What would you prefer? Tutti-fruity mint? Wintergreen?”

[gallifreyburning](http://gallifreyburning.tumblr.com/):

Rose’s gaze slips past the array of gum in the Doctor’s hand to something behind him and she makes a noise of surprise, her eyes widening. The Doctor twists in his chair to look across the street at whatever’s caught her attention.

It is, in fact, the very creature they’ve been sent to keep tabs on. The one Torchwood had been chasing all over the globe for the last four years without any success at an actual capture. The one they’d practically begged the Doctor to help with, if only for the sake of finally putting a stop to its global reign of terror. The one the Doctor’s jury-rigged detector had indicated was heading this way, so he and Rose only had to wait for it to show up.

The Doctor swivels back to the table, eyebrows waggling at Rose. “That’s our friend,” he says cheerfully, shoveling a last forkful of haggis into his mouth before hopping up from the table. “Let’s go say hello, shall we? It’d be impolite if we didn’t introduce ourselves before you try to put him in those – what are they, deadlock cuffs?”

“Doctor!” Rose hisses behind him, her chair scraping across the concrete as she rockets to her feet, too. “Approaching the subject is the _opposite_ of surveillance! He’s not gonna just stick out his appendages and let me cuff him –”

But she’s too late.

[allrightfine](http://allrightfine.tumblr.com/post/18998693325/fic-tennis-fourth-match):

By the time she can catch up to him, the Doctor’s in front of the creature, both arms extended and fingers splayed wide. She watches in horror as he begins wiggling those fingers and the creature extends a tentacled hand to intertwine with them.

Then they spin in a circle and drop hands.

“Doctor,” she says out of the side of her mouth, like that will make a difference, “I thought you didn’t know what race it was?”

The Doctor beams brightly, “Ah, yeah, I didn’t, because those Torchwood photos made it look _blue_ ,” he thumbs at the creature, “Clearly not blue.”

It is a _bit_ blue, if Rose is honest, but maybe more green, in the end.

“Anyway, this here is a glastopus, think — hm. Think like a land-dwelling octopus, crossed with Godzilla.”

The glastopus’ tentacles are spinning slowly through the air, and Rose gets the distinct impression it’s being polite and waiting on them.

“And we’re still standing here, why?” She’s still speaking out of the side of her mouth.

“Because he’s just confused, Rose!” And the Doctor beams brightly at the glastopus. “On his planet, food lives in the ground, and you pluck it out like a carrot. He doesn’t mean to hurt the people he’s plucking, he’s just looking for the carrot!”

Rose extends her hands, beginning to wiggle her fingers in greeting, and the Doctor speaks again.

“Lucky he’s not a full grown one, or he’d be plucking buildings right from the ground.”  

[gallifreyburning](http://gallifreyburning.tumblr.com/):

“When’s he going to be full-grown, then?” she asks as its tentacles extend toward her hand, just as they did for the Doctor’s a minute ago.

“Ohhhh, it’s hard to tell with the glastopus,” the Doctor says with a shrug, burying his hands in his puffy coat pockets and rocking back on his heels. The tentacles slip between Rose’s fingers and she shudders, but she doesn’t back away. “They hit a growth spurt at a certain point, go from a toddler to an adult in less than a week. Eat everything in sight, too. Good thing we found this one so early.”

“Its skin feels like a rubber balloon.”

“Far less helium inside than you’d find at a standard Earth birthday party.”

“Suppose we won’t be needing those –“ Rose pauses, glances at him sideways. “D-e-a-d-l-o-c-k c-u-f-f-s I brought?”

“No, certainly not,” the Doctor replies. “Although he is quite fluent in English and, I’d imagine, _can_ spell, given that he’s been on Earth for so many years now. Glastopus are quite intelligent creatures, Rose.”

Rose starts and drops her hands away from its tentacles. “Oops.”

“See how his balloon-y skin’s going from green to orange? A glastopus will do that when he’s frightened or angry.” The Doctor reaches for Rose’s arm, but she’s already backing up with him, shuffling across the cobblestones and groping for the cuffs in her back pocket.

[allrightfine](http://allrightfine.tumblr.com/post/18998693325/fic-tennis-fourth-match):

When they reach a safe distance and it’s clear the creature isn’t advancing on them, Rose spares a glance at the Doctor.

“So, which is it? Frightened or angry?”

The Doctor rubs a hand at the back of his neck, “Oh, little bit of both, I’d think. He almost certainly hasn’t had a proper meal in ages, he’s just trying to stay alive really, and here we are, talking about handcuffing him. Well, tentacle-cuffing him.”

Rose looks back to the glastopus, whose body now appears to be pulsating, “What is he _doing_ over there?”

The Doctor considers the creature for a moment, “He’s calming himself down. See? Even a glastopus can remember to take a good, deep breath once in a while, doesn’t do anybody any good to get all worked up and,” he waves his hand in the air, searching for the right word as he looks at her sideways, “Yell-y.”

Rose’s entire body shifts to face the Doctor before she can stop it, “Oh, really? This is the place for that? Domestics in the middle of a Torchwood assignment? Never thought I’d see the day.”

At that, the glastopus lets out a wail, waving his tentacles wildly before linking the front two together and holding them out in front of his body, like he’s showing them something.

“He wants — what? For us to hold hands?” and the creature’s body slumps, looking almost sad.

“No, Rose, he wants his mate.”

[gallifreyburning](http://gallifreyburning.tumblr.com/):

 _“That’s_ what he’s been doing tearing around Earth for the last four years? Looking for his mate?” Rose asks.

“He hasn’t been the only one tearing around Earth for four years looking for his mate,” The Doctor replies. “Torchwood can’t tell the difference between a male and female glastopus if they don’t even know what a glastopus is, and they’ve been tracking _two_ different aliens.”

The Doctor advances on the glastopus with his hands in front of him in a gesture of peace, and he twists and contorts his mouth until it makes the appropriate sounds – he’s certainly speaking Glastopusian, although his accent is atrocious, because humanoid tongues were never meant to move this way, really.

He’s also quite certain that, in addition to solving the dilemma they’re currently facing with his linguistic skills, he’s also going to impress the pants off of Rose. With any luck,  _literally_ , because she still has those deadlock cuffs. The Doctor’s had some brilliant ideas about ways they might come in handy when he’s taken care of this lovelorn glastopus and Rose is officially off-duty.

The glastopus howls and hoots in response and the Doctor nods with an expression of focused sympathy. “Of course, of course, naturally you do – who wouldn’t?”

“What’s he saying, Doctor?”

“He’s lost his mate’s trail – glastopus leave a sort of psychic energy in their wake, and other glastopus can follow it just like a dog would follow a scent. But her trail’s gone. There’s a second glastopus on the precipice of adulthood, wandering around lovelorn and about to be big enough to pluck buildings from the ground.”

“I’ve gotta call this in,” Rose says, snatching her phone from her coat pocket.

[allrightfine](http://allrightfine.tumblr.com/post/18998693325/fic-tennis-fourth-match):

The Doctor rushes to stop her, “No, no, no, let’s — let’s just take a minute on this. Torchwood’s done enough mucking about in people’s love lives.”

Rose looks back to the glastopus, the way some of the tentacles are bigger than others, the way its mouth is wider on one side, and wonders if to some poor, lost, female glastopus, that’s the equivalent of messy hair and a wide grin.

“Okay, Doctor,” she says. “How do you want to proceed then?” It really is a safety risk, if what he’s said is true, but she can give him an hour or six and hope it’s enough.

“Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? If we can find the scent, he can find his mate, and then we can get Torchwood involved,” he pauses, “But only to get them transport back home.”

The glastopus changes colors again, apparently in response to the Doctor, and patches of red break out across his green skin. Rose isn’t sure why, but it’s clear he’s excited.

“Let’s find the scent,” Rose nods. “Will that little machine of yours help?”

The Doctor scoffs at her, “That is a highly sophisticated piece of technology, the likes of which you humans won’t be able to create for hundreds of years. And yes, Rose Tyler, it can help.” He grins at her, softening his words.

She gives him a little shove, “Too bad they don’t make deadlock cuffs for your gob.”

“Oh, I don’t know, I think we can find some uses for the ones we’ve got on one hand,” and he winks at her before motioning back to the glastopus. “Allons-y!”

The glastopus gurgles in response and the Doctor looks delighted.

“Look, Rose, he speaks French, too!”

[gallifreyburning](http://gallifreyburning.tumblr.com/):

The Doctor’s little machine is, it turns out, actually as impressive as he claims. After he bangs it several times on the nearest wall ( _It’s the best way to calibrate any machine, Rose, a bit of a knock to get it in working order!)_  it starts to chirp faintly, a light blinking on the top right hand side of the screen. The glastopus has turned bright crimson at this point and is staggering on all of its tentacles toward Edinburgh Castle, which is visible just above the tops of the nearby buildings.

“No, no, she’s this way!” the Doctor corrects, grabbing a tentacle and guiding the lost creature the opposite direction. Rose walks along just behind them, watching the respectful care the Doctor has of this bizarre-looking creature, how he’s talking with him alternately in English and French and the creature’s own strange hooting language, and she’s doesn’t feel cold anymore even in the clammy winter air. Not even when a few snowflakes begin flitting down on them and the glastopus somehow wraps himself in his own spare tentacles to stave off the stiff wind blowing down the city streets.

“This lost lady-glastopus is in Edinburgh, Doctor?” Rose asks.

[allrightfine](http://allrightfine.tumblr.com/post/18998693325/fic-tennis-fourth-match):

He slows his pace enough that Rose catches up quickly.  
  
"Yep, not too far away. I suspect, even without the scent, he knew she was here. Like when you know I’m in the cafeteria without having to call me."  
  
Rose is all too familiar with the idea of sensing someone, but not being able to get to them.  
  
The look the Doctor is giving her makes it clear he knows it, too. She stops walking and grabs his hand tightly, and then he’s crashing his mouth to hers. It’s several long moments, and the Doctor has just touched his tongue to her lips, before Rose pulls away, looking pointedly at the glastopus staring enrapt at them.  
  
Rose clears her throat, “I know you’re in the cafeteria because you’re  _always_  in the cafeteria. Honestly, Doctor, they’d give you an office, even just for consulting.”  
  
The Doctor shrugs off the suggestion, “No chips  _or_  biscuits on demand in an office. Besides, everyone knows to come find me at my table.”  
  
The glastopus makes a series of wet clicks and Rose looks to the Doctor for translation.  
  
"His wife, well, that’s the human term for it, used to tease him about his appetite, too."  
  
Rose takes in the glastopus again, the red flush covering his body and the way it seems to be slanting forward in posture, like he’s straining to get where they’re going as fast as possible.  
  
"Tell him she’ll tease him again. And soon."  
  
The Doctor passes the message on and the glastopus waves a tentacle at Rose.  
  
They walk a few more minutes in silence, before they reach a rundown building. Rose is about to ask the Doctor for their next move when something lands with a loud, wet splat just inches in front of her.  
  
"Oh!" It’s another glastopus and Rose is immediately worried that they’re too late, four long years and this creature’s wife had finally had enough.   
  
But then the female glastopus is drawing together, rising up on its tentacles like it didn’t just jump from a building.  
  
"Surprisingly shock-absorbent, the glastopus," the Doctor murmurs. His words are all but lost in the gurgling warbles of the reunion. Their tentacles immediately entwine in such an intricate way that Rose can sense it’s an awfully intimate gesture.   
  
Not wanting to interrupt, Rose reaches for the Doctor’s hand and waits patiently. Eventually the creatures turn to them, looking expectant and making noises much more subdued than the ones they’d just been creating.  
  
"Oh, I expect we’ll have to stay here for the night," the Doctor tells them. "We’ll get you a room, too. Torchwood will pay. Tomorrow we can get you sorted and home."  
  
It’s three hours later when the Doctor is finally able to put the deadlock cuffs to use on Rose, securing her to the headboard before straddling her hips. His hands running over her body feel like they’re in so many different places at once, and a vision of tentacles jumps unbidden to Rose’s mind. It’s not the sexiest thought, and she pushes past it quickly, but not without sparing a smile for the reunited pair somewhere in the hotel.  
  
(Three floors down, Flargzon the Glastopus tells his mate he’d like to try something he saw earlier that day, and touches his mouth to hers. It’s the first recorded kiss in glastopus history — a gesture generations to come will call  _doctoring_.)


End file.
